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Danni Colello
my blog will show you the mind of a young developing writer.
"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." Maya Angelou
my blog will show you the mind of a young developing writer.
Before actually beginning this project, I was absolutely freakin scared. It seemed so intimidating and I hadn’t done one in years. I used to feel like I was so behind and like I lost all of creative writing abilities. There is so much that goes into a research project from coming up with your thesis statement. From doing the actual research to figuring out your position. From structuring your paper correctly to all the grammatical errors it seems like there is an infinite amount of different elements that goes into it when you first look at it.
Once I started to figure out what message was really resonating with me the rest honestly just started to fall into place. I KNEW immediately what position I had on the subject. I did struggle with figuring out what my research question was going to be. I originally was just subliminally writing an informational paper. But through sabatino’s guidance and brainstorming I realized what argument I wanted to make. Now that I’ve written it I feel like I’ve done a pretty good job but I really want (by the end of the year) to hand in a draft to sabatino and him have absolutely nothing to say improvement wise. Now i know that probably isn’t realistic but I see the growth I’ve made in this class as a writer, and I just want to keep challenging myself. I know my spelling and grammar is atrocious, but it’ll eventually get there I’m not too worried about it. As long as I know what message I want to get across in content. I think this class has been so positive for me not only for my education, but for my personal growth. I honestly can only hope to have another teacher and class that has been as impactful as this one. Going forward with English classes and hopefully a side career of writing articles. I know now what I will need to do in order to produce pieces that can make people think and feel. I think I found my voice in writing. That feels amazing. I feel like one day I’ll really be able to connect people through my writings.
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I’m going to share my introduction for the research project and maybe you guys can give me some idea’s of how to develop it a bit more. I would appreciate any feedback.
This is America. This is the land of the free. This is what I’m told to look like and dress like. This is how I’m told to respond to men. This is the role I’m supposed to play. Growing up as a young girl in America the media has become a part of everyday life. We are constantly on some form of media. Weather that be social media, TV, the radio, or images young women are always being bombarded with structuralizing views that come from men. There are so many shows and movies that little girls are basically addicted to that subliminally are teaching them what behavior is and is not acceptable in Americas society. The media glorifies abusive/ toxic friendships to create a social norm for young girls. I feel that the rest of my project is pretty well written. I use two examples of media to show how young girls are subliminally shown what’s socially acceptable between friends. I feel that I should probably add in that although the friends reconcile and apologize to each other they still are tolerating this toxic behavior. Also, in real life it doesn’t always work out like in the movies. Just so I can show that I do have the knowledge that the movie and sitcom do try to show some sort of healthy way of dealing with the situations. Although they do, the lengths that the girls go to just to “take each other down” or to be “queen bee” is toxic and completely unhealthy. I think there is a lot of importance that goes into this issue. The friendships and relationships that we build are so crucial to our mental health. We can learn to accept toxic behavior or we can learn how to stand up to it and not allow it in your life. If you’ve ever removed a toxic person from your life your probably know how different the mental state becomes. You are not currently in fight or flight mode, so you are in a way calmer, content state. I think the media really needs to monitor what messages they are sending to little girls. Especially subliminally. These young girls are so influential, so promote healthy relationships between women. Promote women lifting each other up. because I ‘ll say this, I’m twenty three and I've never before this class had any guidance in learning about women empowerment. It has only been from my personal experiences with other women and realizing that women are not currently in a competition. We can all love each other and coexist. We also should recognize if any habits we might have may potentially be toxic behavior. We are able to infinitely grow as beings, so we should not be scared to. I think these are all things we should be teaching young children, and more importantly the media also. The media has so much power, it needs to be used wiser. This blog post is touching on what my research project is going to be about. We watched two documentaries that my research project is going to be relating to and referencing throughout called Miss Representation and The Mask You Live In.
My research project is going to be about abusive/ toxic friendships I believe this is a very important very relevant issue pertaining to today’s society and also relating to both documentaries, Miss Representation and The Mask You Live In. These films discuss huge struggles little boys and girls are faced with every day growing up and I think even in these films, abusive friendships weren’t talked about enough. It’s the nurture part of life, these kids are not being properly nurtured in life to the point where they feel compelled to constantly compare themselves to each other and see each other as competition. They need to put on their masks every day and prepare their masks for what they feel is appropriate to show the world. If they are a boy, they are expected to be tough, not cry, etc. If it’s a girl, they are expected to wear makeup and a cute little dress and look perfect. So, these inadvertently become the things that we grow up basing our entire worth and value over and its such a “social norm” we don’t even recognize were conforming to what the media, what the old white powerful men in charge want us to conform to. But this issue is magnified by our friends and peers when we are challenged on the playground to behave a certain way. I mean these friendships are so common and underrated and not discussed nearly enough and we glorify it through media as well, in the hit movie, ”Mean Girls” the entire movie is about a girl pretending to be some popular girl’s friend who is abusive toward her which perpetuates this behavior for other young girls because they see this as “cool” and “the norm” when its completely not. Meanwhile the entire movie this girl is plotting against the abusive popular girl to take her down and is discreetly abusive towards her as well. The protagonist and the antagonist are doing essentially the same thing to each other in different ways and this creates a sense of community for young influential girls that this behavior is what “friends” do. There are so many people that do not even know that a friendship can be abusive. Any relationship can be abusive it must be nurtured and there must be mutual respect and love. Saying “kids will be kids.” Is not any type of excuse these children need to be shown how to properly interact with each other in a healthy way because if we just say, ”That’s kids.” Were perpetuating their future relationships of any kind to tolerate toxic behavior. The change starts with us. For this blog post I will be reviewing/ discussing the documentary, "The Mask You Live In". Which is about the struggles boys are faced with on a daily basis and it is no talked about enough in my opinion. While watching the documentary with a friend (male) it got to a part where they discussed the amount of abuse and bullying happens to boys on sports teams either by other teammates or by coaches, and I asked my friend if he had ever had to deal with that (knowing he had a sports background) and he said, “Actually yea I did get bullied in baseball, but I’ve never really talked about it.” And it hit me that this is a very big, real issue in our society.
This film makes me feel like almost all boys in America don’t get to really grow up exploring who they truly are. It makes me feel bad and also angry because we need leaders to guide these boys and show them that it is okay to be different and to show a side of them that isn’t the social norm of “masculine”. I feel empathy for the boys because I truly did not know this is what they had to deal with growing up. This film makes me think that the message boys have to live with and grow up with is so disgusting, why do they have to show only the side of them that is considered tough. Why sincerely is it not seen as socially acceptable for a man to be emotional or like something that isn’t race cars and sports. In my opinion its completely ignorant for people, and parents to build these walls of what their child is “supposed” to be like. Guess what almost nothing in life happens the way we want it to, all we have power over is our reaction. You could either reject your/a child for not fitting into the idea you’ve build for them or you could be an open-minded person and try to learn and grow. If you reject things in life out of fear you will never grow as a person, its okay to have your ideals be challenged. Question everything. This film makes me want to do something for these boys. I want to help them so badly, to encourage them to war that pink shirt or go out for the school play. You know I wanted to be an elementary school teacher for my entire childhood. Now although this isn’t what I want to do anymore, this film (as well as miss representation) has made me seriously remember why I wanted to do it all those years. To be a caring person in children’s lives that can teach them things very few educators actually are able to. To believe in themselves and love themselves. And that bad things are going to happen but that doesn’t mean you have to give in to the bad things happening around you and to you. I feel like the world doesn’t need more “educators” it needs healers, of all sorts. For this blog post I will be reviewing/ discussing the documentary, “Miss Representation”. Which is essentially a film from 2015 that discusses how women are still not treated equal to men, we are portrayed in the media as objects or less powerful than men. This happens to the most powerful women in America by media and if they can be viewed/portrayed so horribly to a point where they are discredited and not taken seriously, what does that say about how any women is viewed in society and media.
This film makes me feel like there’s so much more I can/ we can be doing in our society today for women. Women’s rights were a huge movement prior to the new millennium, and although we have come pretty far we have obviously not come far enough. Because this movie is a few years older it talks inaccurately about how women now a days treat each other. I think when your young (as a girl) you are subliminally taught to compare yourself to women which makes women see each other as better than or less than like it’s a competition. Although this has been a norm for girls in the early 2000’s and even older girls branching all the way to grown women, I feel like this “competition” aspect has begun to change. Women are beginning to support each other and empower each other unlike anything before. I truly believe this could be the start to something so much bigger than we can even imagine. Because there is an expectation of what beauty is in our society, we feel like we have to live up to this completely unrealistic expectation of what beauty is, so we feel like we are valued or like we have worth. These are not the things that make up your worth as a woman or for anyone. This film made me want to be someone who does play a part in equal rights, who is a voice for the silent, I want to stand up to this bigotry and maybe make a small difference for women as a whole. This film has impacted how I think about the media. I mean I always obviously knew they only portray a certain picture to us and not the whole picture. But I think learning how extreme the media is now a day’s kind of really put it into perspective for me. I didn’t know there was 1-4 women compared to 10+ men for broadcasting system officials. I didn’t really ever notice how sexist the media is to female politicians or any women in office. The film was absolutely correct in saying that if the media can discredit and objectify women of high power, what does that say about how they view all women. The film was very powerful to watch. I feel like after watching this I want to stand up even more to sexism and misogynistic views. I want to play some role in standing for women’s rights. I mean its beyond ridiculous that it’s 2019 and we are STILL fighting for equal rights. The media needs to change. The way we receive information needs to change. I, going to stand up to bigotry going forward and not allow my voice to be silent any longer regarding any degrading sexual comments or content going forward. Home
I think my homepage is functioning because I do have everything for the most part on there, I just need to first add the link for my “Intrinsic goals”. Also, I need to develop the spatial aspect of this page its kind of just 6 or so lines of single sentences. I plan on bringing my quote up to the top right under my header image and then add a spacer before my introduction, over spring break. I also might switch out my quote for a longer one with a little more depth also. About I know my about page is flourishing. I might edit the spatial aspect by combining some sentences to make very short paragraphs. Also, I need to go through and capitalize all my I’s and capitalize the Q for the Proust Questionnaire. I have plenty of multi-modal content on this page though. Narrative project I believe this page is functioning almost flourishing, I need to go in and turn my blog posts from bulleted to complete sentences. I need to include more blog posts that we’ve done and need to correct very few grammatical errors such as capitalizing I’s again. I also need to develop my intro here a bit more. I plan to add more context over spring break. However almost everything asked is on this page and I believe is spaced rather well. Research project My research page is functioning but barley. I have the intro / blurb however it needs an extreme makeover: blog edition. Once we return from break and I have more understanding what our research project is about I will update the page promptly and add more content. Also need to remove the directions from beginning of the year. Contact My contact page is flourishing I have everything asked, header photo, quote about writing, the blurb to contact me, and a link to my Instagram. Honestly even though I have everything this page feels empty still I wish I could think of something else I could add. Blog My blog page is flourishing I have all blogs required up there also my quote and what my blog is about. The only thing I could do to improve this page is figure out how to move the darn things at the bottom of my page to the top right. I’ve tried a bunch of times, but I don’t know why it wont move there it might just be the layout. Draft 1 I think my first draft was very solid. I tried my best to just remember everything I possibly could about that night (it was hard because I repressed a lot from my childhood) and just get all the rawness out. To be honest I’m kind of surprised I didn’t have more to say I mean it was the most pivotal moments in my life and I only initially had about eight hundred words to say about it. However, I plan on going in for draft two and adding more moments of telling the reader the background of the family and how everyone interacts and the roles we play in the house in order to develop a more emotional connection to young Danni and the mother and brother. Also, I might edit the ending just a tad, make it a little more short & sweet. 3/10/2019 1 Comment Midterm ReflectionThis blog post serves as a reflection on my English Composition class at Delaware County Community College, on what I've learned thus far in the year. My vlog focus's on a few things, my author identity, my theory of writing, my growth as a writer, and my knowledge transfer to future writing situations. Also i talk about how much i value our discourse community
Midterm Reflection This blog post is about my narrative project. Which is about the time I had to make the biggest 911 call of my life. Connecting to the blog post are these three videos from Mr.Manginis English composition class. From the classic film, the Wizard of OZ.Wizard of Oz: If I Only Had The Brain, Heart, Nerve , Wizard of Oz: Meeting the Wizard, Wizard of Oz: You've Always Had the Power. My narrative allows me to travel into my brain because I remember thinking that I had to do something I didn’t know what, but something needed to happen that night. I was completely in fight or flight mode and although flight was my usual go to, I knew I needed to fight that night. Years later I now am able to see how brave and courageous I was as a child which is even more out of left field because I had no friends and was always picked on growing up. How had I had this confidence and strength against a grown man when I couldn’t even stand up for myself to come children on the jungle gym. My narrative allows me to explore my heart from back then because the scene I am composing is from a very emotionally evoking time of my life, I am able to feel the fear and anger and the adrenaline comes rushing back from this night. Now I can depict from it that it was the absolute most pivotal moment in my entire life, and I feel empathy slightly for a man who was supposed to be my father but had so many mental problems and was such an intense addict he couldn’t ever step up to the plate. I also feel resentment looking back toward my mother, she was the adult she was the one who was supposed to protect me. Why at 5 and 7 and 12 years old did I have to protect her. My narrative meets the nerve element by showing you how much pent up abuse had been involved how this was the braking point after years and years. Living and growing up with an addict is very confusing. You joke around with them about something one second and the next you’re a bad person for repeating what they just said. You’re taught to tell people if it’s not safe at home, but you also learn “don’t tell anyone about daddy or you might lose mommy”. Even when You do tell a few teachers in your elementary school about “daddy” nothing ever comes of it and you learn that no one really wants to help, but you also learn to reach out for help if you need it, right. My narrative enables me to re-examine the power I have in my life’s story because at the time I felt so helpless and scared and I was just acting on pure instinct. Authoring the story from my point of view has helped me realize that I truly was in control in that moment. I held the power to end the suffering that I had prayed would end one day. I thought as a child that I always needed someone to come into my life and “save me” but I really held the power all along. I realize I have more control of my life than I think I do at times. We cannot control what happens to us in life; only how we react to it. For this reason, I would say that what shapes us is the “stories” we tell our self, or how we react. Danielle Colello
Professor Mangini English Comp. 100 2-7-19 My blog post #4 is about the first time I lost my sense of home by a very controlling important male figure in my life. I am connecting this theme of home, and even deeper theme of losing the essence of “home” to the story, “Hills Like White Elephants.”. In the Story the Girl is being guided and pushed by this strong male role in her life to make a decision, during this decision-making process she loses her sense of direction in that she doesn’t know which of the two paths/ decisions will lead her ‘home”. The white snowflakes gently glided to the ground, I watched in amazement as the sun was slowly making its way down, but the light of this day was still so bright. “Danni!” Hollered my Mother from the front door. “Your hot chocolate is ready!” Instantly I hustled my tiny cold feet inside, waiting for me was a mug of hot chocolate with more white marsh mellows than I could count, and sitting beside it was my green blankey. As I sipped on my sweet hot chocolate and watched dragon tales cuddled up with my blankey I hardly noticed the sun continuing to descend from the sky. Suddenly I couldn’t fight this strong urge to fall asleep right there at the table. I awoke in instant panic as my blankey had disappeared. “Blankey?!” I shouted. I started looking all around me as the dim, remaining light of this day peeking into the kitchen was seeming to hold out a while longer than usual. I looked out the window almost hoping to find my answer in the remaining light the sunset was giving off. The darkness was almost chasing the sun away now. And finally, I see my dad out of the window stumbling his way back to the house from the garbage cans on the side of the road. He has that look on his face where you weren't sure what he would do, but you just knew to stay out of his way. He swings open the front door as I hear muffled swear words. “uh oh.” I thought. “When is this fucking snow going to stop!?” he rhetorically slurred. “Daddy!” I tried to fight back tears. “What?!” “Daddy I can’t, I can’t find my blankey.” As hot tears slowly rolled down my face and my heart dropped to my stomach he responded,” That old dirty fucking rag? That’s gone its time to grow up Danni!” The sun had set at this point, and darkness was touching everything in its grips. I looked out of the window once more and noticed it had stopped snowing completely. “But, but daddy!” “Its time to fucking grow up, now go to bed!” he screamed as he slammed his hand on the table. All I could smell was the putrid wrenching scent of whiskey. As my dad threw back the remaining hot chocolate and marshmallows in my mug, I ran to my room refusing to hold back my tears and emotions at this point, my heart was racing, I was sweating I felt as though my whole world and my safety had been taken from me. As I sat in bed with all of the lights off unable to stop thinking about my blankey, I gazed out of the window one last time as if I would find some answer from the night sky. High above me was the waning crescent moon, I stared for a while as I tried to understand. I didn’t know what had truly happened to my blankey but I knew it was apparently, “Time to fucking grow up.” I laid down on my barbie sheets to try and fall asleep so in turn I could wake up from this bad dream. But I knew the real monster wasn’t going to get me in my dream, I knew the real monster was "home". |
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April 2019
CategoriesAll Identity Narrative Reflection Research Project Writing Process |